Anyone who says "but he loves you" when you share how a man has mistreated or abused you does not, in fact, love you, and is not yet capable of distinguishing real love from dysfunction. "But he loves you" is why women have stayed with abusers and fornicators, to the detriment of their self-esteem, the… Continue reading Love is not a prison
I feel about Cardi B the same way I feel about Drake: indifferent. In fact, I really couldn't care less. I know about Cardi B because despite not caring about her or ever looking her up (until just now when I needed images), information about her and her life just seeps into my brain via… Continue reading Admit it: you hate Cardi B cos you wanna be her
Our brothers might be feb'ing and their wives might be feb'ing but I put it to you that A LOT of family drama would be avoided if we stopped doing two things: the first, moralizing about people's lives; the second, putting our noses in business that is not ours to mind. Listen, people are allowed… Continue reading Mind Your Own Business
I broke up with the guy in this post because he made no secret of the fact that he wanted to get back with his ex. I spent a few days moping around my mother's house with all the dramatic sighing and general weepiness of a dejected princess who'd grown up on Cosmo, rom-coms, and… Continue reading It’s Not Rejection, It’s Misalignment
Anyone who tells you, a grown woman, to be there for him, a grown man, by reaching into your wallet and moving him into your home (or paying his rent and bills), hates you and does not want you to live well. The save-a-man brigade is not on your side. One of the worst things… Continue reading The Save-A-Man Brigade Will Keep You Single and Sad
Nothing he does is for you. Any benefit that accrues to you is secondary, a bonus, not the driving factor. You aren't a priority. Getting his needs met is his priority.
I often tell younger women that I made all the mistakes so that they don't have to, but do you think they listen? Still, I live in hope. This is a story about my encounter with a suspected love bomber, the story that inspired this post. The Love Bomber On our very first date Dewa… Continue reading Storytime: An Encounter With A Love Bomber
Birds are people who engage in magical thinking. What is Magical Thinking? Simply put: magical thinking concludes that something outside of yourself explains your life. Magical thinking makes taking control of your life impossible because it encourages you to hold other people and circumstances responsible for your life and as we know, your life is… Continue reading Cutting your hair post break-up is a bird move
If you really want to win the war against depression and anxiety you're going to have to learn new ways of seeing and engaging with the world. You need new Key Performance Indicators.
The thing about depression is that it's really easy to hide... Until it's not. I remember how I felt when Dr. F. concluded that I'd been living with untreated post-partum depression compounded by longterm major depression. I felt meh because listen, I've been reading psychology 'for fun' since age 12 when I diagnosed my own… Continue reading First Steps to Winning Against Depression and Anxiety