I feel about Cardi B the same way I feel about Drake: indifferent. In fact, I really couldn’t care less. I know about Cardi B because despite not caring about her or ever looking her up (until just now when I needed images), information about her and her life just seeps into my brain via osmosis (I guess) and I can’t un-know it. Kinda like stuff about the Kardashians. I know way too much about them than I should for not caring one jot about them; I swear it’s magic.
Cardi B Who, Though?
Cardi B is one half of the lyrical genius behind WAP, with Megan thee Stallion. Cardi B is married to rapper Offset (of Migos fame) and news broke a couple of days ago (and almost broke Black Twirra) that Cardi B has filed for divorce.
That actually happened, that’s how relevant Cardi is so don’t ask me why I’m talking about her. Source: elle.com
That Cardi B. So now you know who.
What does she have to do with self-hate and internalized misogyny?
I’m here to tell you that if you have anything besides “good move” to say about Cardi filing for divorce, then you have internalized misogyny, swallowed patriarchy wholesale, and you are part of the problem. Yes, yes you are, you conduit of patriarchy, you.
If you’re feeling vindicated in your pickme-ism because she’s got that supposed WAP and still got cheated on, and you think that justifies you staying in a trash situation because all men cheat, let me tell you that you’re vibrating lower than a pickme on her knees for an ashy hotep, and you should probably work on that.
Let me spell it out for you cos the patriarchy has made you slow
Cardi B is a former sex worker and she doesn’t hide it. Cardi B has made an entire bag just by being herself. Cardi B is pro women but because her pro-womanhood stance isn’t presented in academic terms nor backed by multiple degrees, you don’t recognise it as such. You still with me?
Cardi B married Offset, he cheated, and Cardi B took him back with a warning. He cheated again and Cardi B filed for divorce. This is where we are now.
Dangerous black men and the women who stan for them are having a field day because you know what misogynoir loves to see? A woman getting her come-uppance. That’s what misogynoir calls it when a man cheats: she’s getting what she deserves for whatever wrong she did in their eyes, and the cheating man is never held to account. Cardi held Offset to account and when he broke the terms of their agreement, she walked. I hope she keeps on walking straight into the arms and bed of a man who will love her and honour her but even if she doesn’t, I hope she stays gone from Offset’s life because do you know what misogynoir hates? A woman exercising agency, especially a woman of colour exercising agency, and above all else, a woman of colour exercising agency that’s openly contrary to what a man -any man- thinks she should do. How dare she?!
How dare she choose herself and not care that Offset is only a man and men have no self-control? How dare she *gasp* not give credence to the argument that goes: he married her, didn’t he? How dare she, a ho no less, walk away from a man who picked her?!
Everyone is big mad and by everyone I mean the mens and mens-identifying women.
Only two groups of people are mad at Cardi B for filing: low-value misogynistic men, and male-identified women who are cooking and cleaning for the ring and swallowing infidelity as part of the deal. To put it in simple internet terms: dusties and pickmes.
If you’re celebrating the demise of Cardi’s marriage it’s because you’re in one of those two groups, and if you’re a woman you’re probably resentful and waxing contemptuous: you wish you had the WAP-energy to gather some self-respect and leave the dusty you’re screwing and keeping house for that’s cheating on you. You hate Cardi B because you wanna be her so bad, maybe not her exact lifestyle but definitely the part where she chooses herself over a man. You want it, you can’t have it, so you hate on it. Shame on you.
A Ho is Making Better Choices Than You and You Can’t Stand It
Men have big problems, like how women are choosing to be single instead of ‘building’ with them, and how women are choosing self-love over bad, at best mediocre, sex with poor men. If men could get sex right -that is, if men stopped lying to each other about women’s bodies and feminine desire and actually listened to women, they’d reap the benefits, hello co-creation. But y’all ain’t ready to talk about how men pursue young women because they know their wack sex won’t be questioned; imma leave that for another day.
For today, just for today, I want you to stop centering men and their
deficiencies lies problems and focus only on yourself, the life you’re living and the choices you’re making. Kiki’ing while men mock Cardi for choosing herself won’t get you the happiness you should be prioritizing, do you get that?
Low-vibrating minds can’t fathom a woman choosing herself and sanity over a man. Cardi being cheated on affirms ‘good’ women who hate the fact that it really looks like hos be winning outchea; when one of the hos gets played it’s cause for joy. But sis, you’re still getting cheated on, still pretending you don’t care about the neglect, the humiliation and the shame. How is hating on Cardi helping you, exactly???
Listen. If what you’ve been doing so far hasn’t resulted in the life you want, then instead of hating on Cardi B how about you learn from her?
Learn to honour and choose yourself.
Learn how to get the bag while remaining true to Brand You.
Learn that no matter how much money he has, a low-value man remains low-value; never mistake income for value. That’s how people get bitter and say stupid shit like ‘rich men are abusive.’
No sis, low-value men are abusive, and income or high net-worth isn’t a substitute for quality.
When you can’t tell the difference between character and money you’ll fall for the lie that a man with money is always better than no man, and be confused when ‘a ho’ walks away from 26mili and the ring, the ring she got while you were praying for a boo and auditioning for role of wife because even though I’ve told you time and again to do you, you’re foolish, stubborn in your foolishness, and refuse to choose yourself.