Is the WhatsApp Update Something to Worry About?

Let’s get this out of the way: if you’re seriously worried that Zuckerberg (by which I mean FB and WhatsApp) can access your bank details imma need you to back outta here cos your problems are too many. K thanks.

Alright, the rest of you.

What is the big deal about the WhatsApp update?

Simply put, it means that WhatsApp and Facebook will be more integrated where your data is concerned. That is to say, both apps were already collecting data from and about you (and in the case of Facebook probably sharing it with Google), the only difference will be the cross-app sharing of such data (which includes but is not limited to information about your location, phone type&model, and usage). Ever had instances where a conversation on Whatsapp triggered eerily relevant ads on FB? I think WhatsApp and FB been sharing data, they’re only now updating policies to reflect that. Don’t quote me.

In some countries the update will also pave the way for financial transactions on the app but we are familiar with online payments and we won’t worry about that.

Is it really a big deal?

Well to be honest, I don’t think it is. And since Elon Musk is not exactly someone I trust, I’m not getting my panties in a knot because of anything he says. Google and Facebook have been tracking what you do, where you go, what you like, who you talk to and for how long, what does it matter if Whatsapp (which Facebook has owned for years) is joining the fray? What difference does that really make?

Just calm down, use two-factor authentication where possible, keep your location turned off, and/or move to Signal because yeah, Elon Musk is trustworthy and doesn’t want to sell us to the aliens, right? Right.

Do You Need to Make Any Changes?

The update won’t affect your experience of either platform (more useful ads, maybe) so you actually don’t need to do anything except click that accept button. It’s not that complicated. Remember that to Zuckerberg, you are the product. His goal is to get as much information about you as possible, as close to real time as possible (for nefarious reasons obviously, he’s not your friend). But…he’s been doing that already so like I said, calm down. There’s a good sheeple.

Seriously though, what should you do?

If I were you I’d start thinking about where I want to be when the world ends because that’s a more rational concern than “Is Zuckerberg tryna steal the R32 that’s in my account?” Some of y’all worried about your bank details being accessed like there’s money worth stealing in there, when you know your account is as empty as my lovelife.

What’s the bottom line?

If you’re a spy, an anarchist, a revolutionary, counter-revolutionary or something like that that requires extreme privacy, then by all means leave WhatsApp alone because it’s not the most secure of messaging apps.

I’m neither opposed to nor gung-ho about messaging platforms. I’ll move to Signal/Telegram if the people I communicate with most do so, but until then Zuckerberg can enjoy these chats about my witchy evolution and these memes about depression and fuckboys.